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“A house alone is not a home”

I have been pondering the concept of home. These quotes about home make me think about my home and the importance of a home in the development of a child.

I remember my older brother and I going to daycare until I was about 6 years old. This is when we welcomed my younger brother to the family. At that time, my mom and dad  realized it wasn’t going to be financially beneficial for my mom to work and pay daycare for three kids. At that point, she began her journey as a stay-at-home mom. I have to say that is when my fondest memories of home began. While it was fun to play at daycare, it wasn’t much fun to get up early and be dropped off at daycare when it was still dark in the morning!

As our lives began with Mom home 24/7, I felt less stressed, happier. Memories of playing with the neighborhood kids and having lemonade stands or slushee stands are great memories, but I feel in my heart that the bonding, traditions, and consistency my siblings and I received at home was what made the biggest impact in our lives.

Growing up, we didn’t have the nice, new things that some of our peers had, but we did have deep family roots. We lived in a trailer house, which is often looked down upon. We bought off-brand food and home items. We utilized hand-me-downs. I am so glad we had the opportunity to experience life in the home we had. If a person could put aside the material nature of life, and focus on the endearing human characteristics we were modeled, they would understand the true importance of what our home gave us. I am blessed to say that my siblings and I were loved in every way our parents knew how. My dad’s dominant love language was “acts of service”. He was the provider and the teacher of all things to do with work ethic and humanity. My mom’s dominant love language was “acts of service” as well. She was consistent in making meals, baking snack, doing laundry, helping with homework, and also teaching us right from wrong. She nurtured all five of as young children and insisted on our independence as we got older. I know now, the best gift they gave us in our home was the opportunity to learn about God.

Our house was not a house to be envious of. As I said, it was a trailer, it was often cluttered, and it most definitely was chaotic with all five of us kids and our animal adventures. However, our home was most definitely a home to be envied. We had supper every night at the same time when Dad got home from work. Our supper was always balanced and usually consisted of farm fresh meats and garden veggies. We had to be self-sufficient with only one income for a family of seven. We always knew we had chores to do, but those chores were always broken up with several of Dad’s famous ten minute breaks for coffee and Mom’s daily batch of chocolate chip cookies. It was always a bonus day, when a grandparent or aunt and uncle would stop by. We would get a longer break then! I felt a sense of accomplishment on a daily basis, because my parents had dreams of always working to make something better. Every little task we did was done as a family, and it was celebrated as a family. When the work was done, we could all enjoy a t.v. show together. As my parents dreamed and worked, and taught us to dream big and work hard, they didn’t realize they were creating connections with deep roots in our family home. I am 47 years old, and I still have days where I just want to go home. I mean home – to Mom and Dad’s. To be able to sit and visit with them at that kitchen table is a blessing and it gives me a shot of encouragement to keep going in troubled times. It reminds me how important it is to provide a home base for my adult children as well.

I know not everyone has fond memories of a childhood home. I believe God called me to write this post to challenge these people to immediately begin creating traditions and begin making your current house into a home. You can benefit from these changes now and going forward. Your kids (young or adults) can benefit from the time you spend creating, nurturing and sharing your home.

My prayer is that we all do some self-evaluation. Pull some positive memories from those experiences of home. The memories may be from your home, your grandparent’s home or a friend’s home. Use those memories to start your own connections of home. Add to them. Get input from your family. It can be a family project. Just do it! The secure attachments “home” can build are priceless and are part of your legacy.

A few questions…

1. What are some fond memories you have of your childhood? How can you relate them to your concept of “home” as an adult?

2.  As an adult, what are some ideas you have implemented to make your current house a home?

3. Have you asked your kids what they appreciate(d) most about your home?

Growing word by word,

Jackie