Nurture

NURTURE

To nurture a living soul is the ultimate gift we can give. There are strong links to the act of nurturing and having healthy attachments throughout your life.

I refer to the term “nurture” quite often in the work I do. To nurture is to care for and to encourage growth and development in someone. It may seem simple to care for someone, right? Maybe so, however, adding the piece of encouragement to grow and develop may be a bit more challenging. Age is another thing to consider. If you are nurturing a newborn it will look very different from you nurturing a 16-year-old or even an adult partner or elder. No matter the age, it’s important to know and understand that all people of all ages need nurtured!

Imagine snuggling a newborn baby. As you are rocking back and forth, her soft, warm face is nestled in the crook of your neck. You can feel her small breath on your skin. The rocking chair creeks just slightly with each forward movement. The infant is wrapped in a soft blanket, and she feels as though she has melted into your curves. Your arms are wrapped around her and your hands are positioned perfectly on her back and her head and neck. This moment you have taken to nurture her will forever remain in her memory network. She won’t remember the actual event; however, she will remember the feelings. These moments create strong neuropathways that promote healthy attachments.

Let’s fast forward to the teenage years. In this developmental stage, it may seem more difficult, even impossible to nurture a teenager. It’s important to remember that all people are created differently and finding how to nurture them will be unique to who they are. While it may be more challenging to come up with ways to nurture our teens, it is still very important for them to be nurtured. Love and encouragement are needed at all ages.  I remember not that long ago, a period of several days in a row that I sat with one of my sons during his teenage years. I just held a safe space for him to move through a tough time. I was a sounding board. I didn’t judge, I didn’t insert my opinion – I just made myself available to him and gave him undivided attention when we sat to talk each day. He eventually worked through it and gained resilience and self-confidence. Nurturing comes in many forms. This was a form of quality time. Nurturing doesn’t always have to be physical touch. If you haven’t read Gary Chapman’s book, The Five Love Languages, it is a must read.

Let’s move on to the nurturing of adults. We all have adults in our lives and they are probably lacking the most when it comes to being nurtured. I encourage you to evaluate how you can nurture the adults in your life. Can you spend more time with them? How about physical touch – combing an elderly person’s hair or painting fingernails? Quality time could be reading them the newspaper or a favorite book. Why not try to help another adult in your life? Most adults would love to accept help with a meaningful project or a chore.

We’ve discussed how to nurture others, so now we need to realize that nurturing others only feeds part of our soul. The other part of our soul is fed when we are the one being nurtured. There is good news in this! While it is mighty nice to have someone in our lives that nurtures us, we don’t always have to rely on someone else to do it!

This brings me to the most important person in your life that needs to be nurtured, and that person is you! I love the quote below. It really makes you evaluate how you have been caring for yourself.

“How would you NURTURE her if you were the mother of little you?” -Kris Carr

We can nurture ourselves through self-love. As the above quote asks us, “How would you take care of yourself?” Some of you may be hearing more about the importance of self-care. It truly is a topic that needs to be taken seriously. In our society, we tend to get into the hamster wheel of life and forget that we are human, that we are spiritual beings that need to be nurtured. A few ways I try to nurture myself are by taking time to do things I enjoy doing, like reading, writing, praying/meditating (I feel God nurture me when I am able to get still enough during prayer time) – and of course scrapbooking! I am also beginning to change my beliefs about living a healthier lifestyle. Choosing to eat healthier foods and being more active are intentional acts of caring for myself. I have faith and confidence that changing my beliefs about these things will improve my body, mind and spirit. So, I am gently and gradually taking steps to NURTURE myself.

A few questions…

How can you nurture the people of all ages in your life?

Who could you start with? Pick a person in your life to be deliberate about nurturing (without them knowing) and see what changes you notice in that person.

Do you have specials ways in which you nurture yourself? Do you allow for these moments without allowing guilt to enter the space? If there is guilt, how do you address it?

Growing word by word,

Jackie